Financial Red Flags to Watch Out for in a Relationship

6 January 2025

Let’s face it: money can be one of the trickiest things to talk about in a relationship. But, whether you're in the honeymoon phase or deep into building a life together, finances are a crucial topic. Understanding your partner's financial habits can reveal a lot about their values, priorities, and potential compatibility with your own goals.

While love might make the world go ‘round, poorly managed finances can throw a wrench into the smooth ride of any partnership. So, how can you tell if you and your significant other are on the same financial wavelength? Watch out for these financial red flags in your relationship before they turn into full-blown sirens.

1. Dodging Money Talks

Let’s start with the elephant in the room: avoiding money conversations. If your partner clams up or changes the subject every time finances come up, that's a red flag.

Here’s the deal: open communication is the backbone of any successful relationship, and talking about money is part of that. Whether it’s discussing debt, setting financial goals, or splitting expenses, brushing these topics under the rug is not a long-term solution.

Think about it: would you avoid discussing your hopes, dreams, or future plans with your partner? Of course not. So why should finances, which are equally vital to your future together, be any different?

2. Living Beyond Their Means

Does your partner always have the latest gadgets, designer clothes, or splurge on expensive meals despite not having a high income? Living beyond one’s means is a classic financial red flag.

This kind of behavior can scream “trouble” down the line. Why? Because overspending often leads to debt accumulation, financial stress, and an inability to save for future goals. It’s like building a beautiful sandcastle too close to the tide—sooner or later, the waves will come crashing in.

If you notice that your partner is spending recklessly while struggling to cover essential expenses or has no savings, it’s time to have an honest conversation.

3. Secretive or Controlling Money Habits

Ever feel like your partner is a little too secretive about their finances? Maybe they refuse to let you see their bank statements, avoid talking about their income, or insist on taking full control of shared finances without explanation.

This could be a sign of financial infidelity—or worse, manipulation. Healthy relationships are built on trust, and financial transparency plays a huge role in that. Sure, everyone is entitled to some level of privacy, but being overly secretive is a different story.

Imagine being in a car where your partner is driving but won’t tell you where you’re headed. That’s how financial secrecy feels—disorienting and untrustworthy.

4. Carrying Excessive Debt Without a Plan

Debt happens—it’s a part of life for most of us. Student loans, mortgages, or credit card balances can be perfectly manageable with a solid plan in place.

But here’s the thing: when your partner has extensive debt and no clear plan to tackle it, that’s when the alarm bells should start ringing. Debt without a strategy can snowball quickly, pulling the both of you into financial quicksand.

Even worse, if they don’t take responsibility for their debt and adopt a cavalier “it’s no big deal” attitude, it could indicate a lack of accountability. Do you really want to hitch your financial future to someone who’s unwilling to face their challenges head-on?

5. Reluctance to Set Financial Goals Together

A relationship is a partnership, so setting joint goals—whether it’s buying a house, paying off debt, or even planning a vacation—is key to building a future together.

But what if your partner shows zero interest in creating a financial roadmap with you? If they shrug off goal-setting discussions or avoid long-term planning altogether, it’s a sign they might not be thinking about your future as a team.

Think of financial goal-setting as the GPS for your relationship. Without it, you’re both just driving aimlessly, hoping to end up in the same place. Spoiler alert: that rarely works!

6. Poor Credit History

Okay, so this one requires a little bit of investigation (and tact). A poor credit history can be another financial red flag because it often reflects past mistakes or ongoing financial irresponsibility.

Now, let’s be clear: bad credit isn’t a dealbreaker for everyone. People go through tough times, and credit can take a hit for various reasons. What you’re looking for here is accountability. Are they working to improve their credit? Do they acknowledge their past mistakes, or do they downplay the significance of a bad credit score?

Credit impacts so much in life—loans, mortgages, even renting an apartment. If your partner’s credit history could affect your shared future, it’s worth addressing upfront.

7. Constant Borrowing from Friends or Family

If your partner has a habit of borrowing money from friends or family—and worse, doesn’t pay it back—it’s a flashing neon-red flag. Constant borrowing suggests an inability to manage their finances independently, which is a serious concern in the context of a long-term relationship.

More importantly, it can create tension between you, your partner, and their loved ones. Money borrowed from family often comes with strings attached, and you might end up stuck in the middle of their financial mishaps.

8. Unwillingness to Budget

Let’s be real—budgeting isn’t the most glamorous thing in the world. But it’s a necessary tool for financial stability. If your partner refuses to budget or doesn’t see the value in tracking expenses, it could lead to disorganization and unnecessary financial stress.

A lack of budgeting often correlates with living paycheck-to-paycheck, even when it’s avoidable. And if your financial strategies are incompatible now, imagine how that will pan out in the long run.

Think of budgeting like building a financial safety net. If your partner refuses to help you weave it, prepare to do some heavy lifting on your own.

9. No Savings or Emergency Fund

Life is unpredictable—cars break down, medical emergencies happen, and jobs can be lost. That’s why having a savings buffer is so important.

If your partner has no savings or emergency fund, it could spell trouble when life throws you both a curveball. It's a sign that they’re not financially prepared for the unexpected, which could lead to you taking on the burden of covering those emergencies.

A lack of savings also indicates a lack of foresight. And let’s be real: just like you wouldn’t build a house without a foundation, you probably shouldn’t build a life with someone who isn’t financially grounded.

10. Guilt-Tripping Over Money Differences

Last but not least, if your partner makes you feel guilty for earning more (or less) or pressures you to spend in ways that make you uncomfortable, it’s a major red flag.

Everyone brings different financial strengths and weaknesses to the table, and there’s no “right” or “wrong” income or spending style. But using money to guilt or manipulate someone? That’s a dealbreaker.

A healthy relationship should be about mutual respect, not control or shame. Whether you’re the higher earner or the saver in the relationship, your values and boundaries matter just as much as theirs.

The Bottom Line

Recognizing financial red flags doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed—it means you have the opportunity to address potential issues before they snowball. The key is to communicate openly, align your financial goals, and ensure that you’re both on the same page about managing money.

At the end of the day, love and finances might not be the most romantic duo, but they’re one of the most critical partnerships in any relationship. So keep an eye out for these red flags, tackle issues together, and build a future grounded in both emotional and financial harmony.